The Tale of Breakfast Land

One night the sweet aroma of a sizzling breakfast floated through Will's room. This, of course, woke him up. As he opened his eyes, there appeared an enormous chunk of Sausage Dough. And it flew around his room like a saucer! It began to mo ld into a strange shape; a very un-humanly shape. It was turning into a giant sausage link! It flew down and sat on Will's bed. Then it spoke to him in a strange, foreign tongue. He did not hear it speak but somehow understood its message. Whoever heard o f a sausage communicating through telepathy?

"I have come all the way from Breakfast Land to make you this offer. You must eat me to live there. I believe you would fit right in- everyone is like ME! Plus, there's breakfast food for every meal! Suprisingl y, no one has ever gotten sick of it. Please come with me, Will!"

Will didn't belive the sausage, but he was so hungry that he ate it anyway.

Well, he didn't believe. But soon he was transported MAGICALLY as if he had been shot out of a cannon; seemingly faster than the speed of light. He had no time to think, no time to realize what was happening. Yet he heard a small voice inside of him. It said "Drop the question what tomorrow may bring, and count as profit every day that Fate allows you." He heard it, and recognised a part of himself. It was the wisdom of his inner voice. It was his spirit guide. But did he think of that? OF COURSE NOT! He thought, "hey, that musta ben that there sausage link i ate fur brekfest, callin me not from the depths of my soul, but the tremendous depths of my stomach." But perhaps the ignorant fool was right. Perhaps it was his spirit guide who had come to lead him to Breakfast Land. And perhaps when he had consumed it, his mind, body, and soul were united.

In any case, he found himself suddenly in an fantastic new world, and was swept away with its breath-taking beauty. He felt that he was a part of it. He instinctively knew he belonged here, in Breakfast Land. Will cast his eyes to the skies above and what lay before him? There were mountains of waffles and sunsets were pats of golden butter, gradually melting and submerging the land in blackness. He saw pancakes streak across the sky in colors he had never imagined. The eggs were fried, scrambled, boiled, roasted, an d served with toast. There was a cateract of orange juice flowing over the rocks. And the sausage. O the sausage; such a sight to behold! The patties and links clad in velvet robes danced more gracefully than the willow bends to weep. They sang lonely balla ds of omlettes in frying pans. It brought tears to his eyes.

But then he stopped short, for to his horror, he was VERRRY HUNGRY!